Jesus said: “I am the resurrection and the life. Those who believe in me, even though they die, will live, and everyone who lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this?”

John 11:25-26

A young man in our congregation, Jonathan¹, was dying of cancer, and he knew it. He was a wonderful young man, full of life and easy to love. Our whole community was heartbroken when his cancer came back. But Jonathan was determined to fight it, and he pleaded with me to ask everyone I knew to pray for a miracle. I did, and our community responded. We had a prayer vigil for him, with people gathered from all around the community. We had people stop by our sanctuary daily to pray for him, and to write him notes of encouragement. I was blessed to be able to share these notes with him, and to read to him of their love and prayers for him. Yes, we prayed, just as Jonathan requested, individually and as a community. It was beautiful to see such a heartfelt response to his simple request. 

Why?

But despite all of that, Jonathan still died. Why? Did we not pray hard enough? Was God not able to answer this particular prayer? Did God simply not care? Jesus promises us that our heavenly Father will grant our prayers, so why did they go unanswered? Why did Jonathan die? Where was the miracle that he asked for, that we prayed for?

These are among the most difficult questions that we as Christians face, and Jonathan’s death caused all who knew him to wrestle with these questions, including me. And even though I do not claim to have complete or satisfying answers to these questions, I still want to attempt some answers. It is the least I can do for a young man that I loved. The ultimate answers can only be provided by God, and so we all must wait (in faith) for that day when all our questions will be answered. But with that said, let me share a few thoughts. 

A God Who Cares

First, these questions that we ask are not asked to a distant, unknown god. They are asked to a God who cares deeply for each and every one of us. Even when our prayers seem to go unanswered, they are not unheard. God hears every one of our prayers, and promises to respond. 

So why did Jonathan die? Was it God’s will? No, at least I don’t believe so. God does not want any of us to perish, as Scripture teaches us (2 Peter 3:9). So why did Jonathan die? Why were our prayers for him not answered? Honestly, I don’t know. I am disappointed in God, even angry. And I am not alone in that. But I haven’t lost my faith. I believe in God, and trust him, even now. 

A God Who Gave His Son

So, where does this leave us? For me, it leads us back to the one place where all our questions are embraced, even if not fully answered: The cross. The cross is where God’s son died for us, too soon and too harshly. A cruel senseless death to a 33-year old who, by the world’s standards, still had so much more to give: more miracles, more teaching, more wisdom that our world needed from him. All of that would come, when the promised Spirit was given to his followers. But first, he had to die. It was the only way for us to live. And so, Jesus died – for Jonathan, and for us all. And God the Father let him do this. He gave us his only son so that everyone who believes in him would not perish but have eternal life. Jesus’ death was his most important act, because his death put an end to our death – even though we still die, we live because of Jesus. That is what he promised us in John 11. And that is the ultimate miracle. 

Awaiting the Ultimate Miracle

The ultimate miracle that overshadows every other is the miracle of everlasting life, made possible by Jesus’ sacrificial death on the cross. The truth is that even when Jesus was walking this earth and performing miracles, he did not heal everyone. And even the people that Jesus healed still went on to die. His healing miracles were meant to show us that he cares, but they were never meant to be his ultimate purpose. 

What was his ultimate purpose? The healing of the paralytic in Mark 2 points us to this purpose. When his friends lowered him to be healed, Jesus first said to the man, “Son, your sins are forgiven.” The scribes were shocked by this. “Who can forgive sins but God alone?” But “So that you may know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins,” Jesus said the paralytic, “I say to you, stand up, take your mat, and go to your home.” And the man did. 

The point of this story is to show us that Jesus’ ultimate purpose was to forgive our sin and to give us the gift of eternal life. The physical healings that Jesus performed were simply to show us his love and to give us a glimpse of what is to come. 

That paralytic lived the rest of his life with profound gratitude to Jesus, I am sure, but he still got sick and eventually died. And we would not still be talking about Jesus if he merely healed people of their earthly diseases. That is not why he came; it is not why he died for us. It was to forgive our sin and to give us eternal life. 

The Gift of Paradise 

Think, too, of that amazing moment on the cross when the repentant thief dying beside Jesus asked him to remember him when he came into his kingdom. Jesus said to him, as they both neared death on their crosses, “Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in Paradise.” That is Jesus’ ultimate gift. Not healing in this life, but life eternal, in Paradise with him. 

And that is the promise that I cling to as I grieve Jonathan’s death. The cross is where we see the awesome truth that God so loved Jonathan that he gave his only son, so that Jonathan would not perish but have eternal life. The ultimate gift, paid for by the ultimate price. It does not answer all of my questions, or yours, but it can help us to trust in God until our questions are one day answered. 

When we die and are joined with Jonathan in Paradise, will these questions of ours even matter? I don’t know, but I suspect that they won’t. We will be embraced by such an amazing, endless, eternal love that nothing else will concern us.

Answered Prayer

The truth that I cling to as I grieve the loss of my friend, Jonathan, is that our prayers were answered for him, just not in the way we wanted. This truth, and my hope, is based on what Jesus said after the death of his friend, Lazarus, to those who grieved: “I am the resurrection and the life. Everyone who believes in me, even though they die, will live, and everyone who lives and believes in me will never die.” 

Yes. Jonathan lived and believed in Jesus, and so he will never die. He has received his miracle: Jonathan is now with Jesus in Paradise, free of all pain and sadness, forgiven of all sin, and embraced in perfect love. And one day we will all join him. And our faith in that promise is what gives us hope as we grieve and as we wrestle with our unanswered questions. 

The Assurance of Things Hoped For

Faith, it is good to remember, is not based on having every prayer granted and every question answered. Faith is “the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen” (Hebrews 11:1). The invitation of faith is to trust in the God who loves and cares for us, even when our prayers go unanswered, until the day when all our questions are answered, and when our prayers are no longer needed. The day we join those who have gone before us in the Paradise that awaits us. That will be a very good day.

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1. I am grateful to Jonathan’s family for their permission to share this reflection using Jonathan’s real name. As his mother wrote to me: “You can keep Jonathan’s name in the reflection, he was your friend and needs to be mentioned.” Yes, he was my friend and always will be. I am grateful for all the ways in which this young man taught me of faith and love and hope and prayer. Rest in peace, Jonathan, until I see you again. ↩︎